I was shopping for something sweet when a friendly-looking goldfish cracker with rainbow sunglasses caught my eye. His name is Finn and he has a couple of colorful cracker friends. He invited me to sample a few of them. What is it with product mascots and cannibalism? Doesn’t anyone find it weird that the friendly characters on boxes are asking you to eat their own kind?

Goldfish is targeted at kids. The packaging is cute, colourful and very nicely executed. In fact, Pepperidge Farm is one of the few brands that has consistently good design over its range. But I don’t know why there’s no clip for the bag (like their biscuit range) though, so once open you either need to use your own bag clips or transfer to an air-tight container. I did neither of this, resorting to fold the bag a few times over. Surprisingly, the crackers stayed crisp for two weeks!

The colors of the fishies are very vibrant and is part of the fun of eating them. Some did remark how toxically deep the colors were but I kind like them that way. There’s also a cute website supporting this product. There was a version of the website(2006-ish) that was so well-done I kept going back just to experience it over and over again. Kudos to the marketing team.

For all the aesthetic appeal of the packaging, product and website, the taste is a big letdown. I have eaten Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Cheddar before. I picked Colors because I thought it was a different product failing to read the label properly (same great cheddar taste). The thing is, I didn’t like the normal version that much so it’s no surprise that this cracker and I don’t go swimmingly well together.

Cheddar is a sharp cheese with a balanced buttery saltiness. What is passed off as cheddar here tastes just like 50 tablespoons of salt with none of the creamy cheesy sharpness I’ve come to associate with cheddar. One wonder what kind of “real cheese” these fish crackers were actually baked with.

The box shouts that this is a “baked, not fried fried”, subliminally implying that this is healthy. Yeah, I’ll fall for that one. I did, really.A serving size is 55 pieces or 140 calories. For me, this is more than enough (I usually stop at about 20 per sitting) so I assume it’s more than sufficient to satiate an average child.

A bag lasts for two weeks. If you don’t mind the salty, one-dimensional taste, Goldfish Colors is gives good bang for your buck.

Photo: Pepperidge Farm

Salty without character.

The pieces are packaged in a small and modest-looking foil wrapper. It is nice and homey with a rustic feel – the only boast being the pieces “bursting with intense flavor”, the flavors in question being honey mustard and onion.

Honey mustard and onion – the thought of these two ingredients combined conjures the image of a beautiful symphony of tastes. Caramelized savoriness of toasted onions uniting with the bittersweet seduction of honey and mustard. Now imagine crunchy chunks of pretzel drenched in these wonderful flavours.

Despite looking like they have been soaked in oil, the sourdough hard pretzel pieces retain a delightfully dry crunch. Bursting with intense flavor, you say? Indeed. Every bite is so full of concentrated tastiness, my taste buds are dancing, jumping and rejoicing with delicious, delicious (yes, twice) joy. Breaking up the pretzel into small pieces is a genius move as it allows the fantastic flavouring to penetrate over a greater surface area.

Granted at $3.95 per pack this isn’t the cheapest snack on the aisle, but oh the crunchy deliciousness of these pretzel pieces more than makes up for it.

Are these healthy? At 140 Calories a serving, one could do worse. But who cares about calories? The flavours! Bursting with flavours! Can you tell how much I love these thing?

Photo: Snyder’s of Hanover

Bursting with flavours, a truly satisfying savoury snack

The name of this snack makes me giggle. Do I really want to taste Jacob’s…. Crak’s? But Jacob really wanted me to try this radical new innovation as it says on the gold foil wrapper: “Discover the new Jacob’s generation!” and “Discover this new innovation of delicious crackers for Jacob’s” . I wonder what is it about this that is so innovative… Packaging: 7

When I opened the pack, I was greeted with a funky salty aroma. I wasn’t too sure about this… Jacob’s crack, er, Crak’s looked interesting but they smelled kinda weird. I understand the funkiness, this is an onion flavoured snack afterall, but does something marketed as “ideal for dipping” need to smell so salty? A quick inspection on the crackers – they look like they’ve been liberally dusted with flavouring powder which I believe to be 90% salt and 10% MSG and a sprinkling of tiny green specks for interest. There’s no way this will turn out positive. Visual:7

But thankfully, I was proven wrong — Yes Jacob doesn’t skimp on salt but it was not to the point of overpowering the whole taste. You know how the first chip is always the saltiest and then your taste bud kinda get numb thereafter? Well, after three crackers, I got used to the saltiness and begin to appreciate the flavours more. The crackers have a sharp zing and I can definitely taste onion and maybe even hint of parsley(the green specks). I’d prefer if there was a more pronounced cream flavour though. Taste: 7

I’m not too sure why the packaging keeps emphasizing the fact that you’re supposed to eat them:: “Surprisingly light (when you eat it)” and “Made from special recipe, this new cracker is COOKED AND TOASTED IN THE OVEN It’s very crispy, puffy and very light when you eat it.” By the way, the crackers were not “puffy” as claimed but they were light when I ate them. Being baked, not fried, meant that these are a healthier alternative to chips. Health: 8

I don't mind Jacob’s Crak’s but I'd much prefer Arnotts Shapes.